Well I can honestly say that I feel as if I am currently going through each day in a daze. Like I'm not really feeling anything. The reality of being alone for 2 years is sinking in quickly! (yes I will get to talk to him on the phone and through the computer) I know we can do it, but I honestly just feel so numb right now. Like I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel. Am I supposed to break down in tears, crying like a maniac, because I don't think I can do it? Or am I supposed to stand up and be this tough gal who keeps saying I can do it, No problem. Don't get me wrong, I know I can handle it, I am smarter than most people think. I try not to open my mouth much. I know how to take care of my children, how to manage our time, I DO know my girls will need me more than usual to help fill the daddy time. Thats not the part that bothers me.
Yes I am used to him being gone for 3 to 4 months at a time. But as someone so kindly pointed out, I knew it was temporary. We always had a countdown to when dad would return. Two years countdown doesn't seem quite right?
I know this all sounds foolish...but it's hard preparing for him to leave. Just yesterday it was like we still had a month. Well thats about gone down to a little over 2 1/2 weeks. It's good and bad that the girls start school. They are not going to want to go on the day we take him to the airport!
All I know is I'm struggling right now. It will get better, I keep praying that God will help me to give it to Him. Only with His strength will I make it through this!
I've rattled on enough for today. Until next time~ Ciao